Reversing Negative Thought Patterns

Before we can change our behavior, we must first change our thoughts. How do we suddenly go from pessimism to optimism? How do we reprogram ourselves after so many years of negativity? While it doesn’t happen overnight, it is possible with practice. Let me share a few techniques that have worked for me.

The first thing, after becoming aware of and acknowledging the bad thought, is to stop the thought, and second, develop a positive response to counteract the negativity. A very simple illustration – say you went on a job interview and they selected someone else to fill the position. What are some of the thoughts that might enter your mind? “I wasn’t good enough,” “What in the world made me think I could ever get that job,” “I’ll never get a new job.” — and so on.

First, say to yourself or out loud if necessary with a very strong tone – STOP! Then come up with a positive response to your disappointment of not getting the job. “I have great skills to offer any company,” “I am going to be an excellent (fill in the desired title),” and “I will not give up.”

These two techniques can be applied to any situation and with continual practice will become a habit. With enough practice, the negative thought will not even rise in your mind and you will automatically speak positively, even claiming the outcome that you desire (more about calling those things that are not as though there were later).

Optimism vs. Pessimism

I will always be intrigued by the old classroom illustration of “is the glass half-full or half-empty” because it proves how perspective changes everything. Has a negative perspective been preventing you from accomplishing your desires?

Some see the glass half-empty and others see it as half-full. While both answers are correct, the answer that we choose is vital because it determines how we think and behave. How do you view the glass?

We have been so programmed by society to see the bad that it has become the acceptable way from which we view the world around us. Society’s emphasis more on unfavorable situations have caused us to focus on the negative so much that we do not even realize what we are doing; it’s just natural.

Consider a childhood situation that left a negative impression on you and how it shaped your view in that particular area of your life or ways that the media has contributed to your perception of society.

The lens from which we view people and circumstances determines how we behave. If we think the lady suddenly swerved in front of us without warning did so because she simply was not paying attention while talking on her cell phone we might become angry and engage in road rage. However, what if she was talking to the camp director who just informed her that her son was found at the bottom of the pool unconscious and was being rushed to the hospital, we might react differently. We would probably dismiss the event entirely or even utter a prayer.

The old saying, “as a man thinks, so is he” has merit. Remember the classic children’s story, “The Little Engine That Could,” that prevailed up the mountain by encouraging himself saying, “I think I can, I think I can.” The same holds true and applies to every situation in life.

Likewise, if we think we “can’t” then we probably will not simply because of our corresponding behavior. What are the chances of someone who does not believe that they will ever be able to become a lawyer enrolling in law school? Our actions are determined by our outlook.

We must first become aware of and admit our natural tendency towards pessimism, then realize that we have control over how we view the situation – it is a choice. Lifelong pessimistic programming causes underlying automatic commitments (UACs) or negative beliefs that we hold true.

The keys to moving from pessimism to optimism are to not only understand that we have a choice of how to view our circumstances, but more importantly, our choice will also determine our behavior and ultimately shape the outcome.

Breakthroughs

Have you ever dealt with someone who said that they do not believe in something, but something happens that causes them to question their belief? Perhaps it was through a conversation where someone challenged their belief that made them reconsider the perspective that they have held true for years. Their world is shaken for a bit, but then they suddenly accept their newfound belief as truth. There is nothing more glorious than a breakthrough. It’s when your “aha” moment morphs into a total paradigm shift and now your entire world has changed due to your new lenses. Where do you need a breakthrough? How badly do you want it? Are you willing to have your belief challenged and your world shaken?

Ups and Downs

As a Life Coach who specializes in total wellness – spirit, soul, mind, and body – I often question not only what motivates people, but moreso what keeps them motivated.  Why do we tend to experience the roller-coaster effect on the road to goal accomplishment? Perhaps it’s a natural part of the process. How can we maintain the initial enthusiasm that gets us up without ever coming down? Perhaps it’s not possible to maintain such drive without crashing. Why do we burn long and hard for a while until we practically burn-out? There must be a way to maintain a balance so that we can burn on. Is achieving a dream similar to purchasing a new car? The excitement fades once the newness wears off. Or, is it because inevitable challenges and disappointments sometimes give way to fear and doubt? Thus, causing us to slow down to almost a halt. How can we view setbacks differently and learn during the process? Instead of allowing setbacks to immobilize us, we can use them as tools of determination to press forward. Can we train ourselves to get so mad at the setback that it reignites us to obtain our desired outcome with a vengence? We can turn the negative energy that accompanies disappointment into positive by a mere act of the will. We must resist the setback and make it a comeback instead.