Resolutions that Last

It’s New Years resolutions time again! Regardless of whether you want to stop doing something or start doing something, the key is going for the long haul and making a lifestyle change.

So, how do we make resolutions that last?

1. Examine your motivation – Why are you doing it? Are you really committed to the cause?
2. Be sure it’s realistic – Set goals with timelines and measurable outcomes that you know you can do to ensure your success.
3. Pump yourself up – Talk to others who have done what you desire. Get inspired; knowing that if they did it, you can too.
4. Develop a support team – Enlist the help of three people that will not only encourage you, but hold you accountable.
5. Write it down – Solidify and make your goal come to life.
6. Devise a strategy for goal attainment – Come up with a step-by-step process.
7. Create a visual reminder of the desired end-result and place it so that it’s in your face everyday.
8. Invest yourself – Schedule time to work towards your goal. Treat it with the same importance as eating, sleeping, and going to work – it’s not optional!

Remember – passion and persistence produce purpose!

What’s It All About?

The holiday season has different meanings for everyone. For some, it’s a time of baking, decorating, and shopping. For others, it’s a time of anxiety, depression, and stress. Many enjoy the family gatherings, gift giving, and parties. While others find those things burdensome, dreadful, and senseless. Some celebrate various religious holidays – Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa.

It’s important to know what and why YOU are celebrating? What’s it really all about? Are you following tradition because that’s what you’ve always done and everyone else is doing it? Are you going along because you are trying to meet others’ expectations?

Take a moment and really consider what the season means to YOU. Consider your beliefs. Think about your values and how your actions do/do not support your beliefs. Don’t just go through the motions without knowing why. Be true to yourself and mindful of what you are doing. Dig deeper within, move beyond traditions, and discover what and why YOU are celebrating.

Fear of Success

We often hear about the fear of failure as a reason for why we do not pursue our dreams. However, what about the fear of success? Have you ever heard the saying, “To much is given, much is required?” Meaning that the more you know and have, the more you are responsible for. It’s easy for us to say, “Oh well, I tried” and give up if we fail versus continue trying until we succeed. Here’s a little secret – success is hard work. It’s a lot harder to be successful than to fail. Success takes persistence, determination, fortitude, and an “I’m-not-going-to-quit-until-I-succeed” attitude. We say we want it, but do we really? Are we willing to do what it takes to get it? So what’s your fear?

 

What’s Holding You Back?

With all the things we “have” to do – go to work, get the car fixed, grocery shopping, mow the lawn, wash clothes, take the kids to practice, and the list goes on – how do we find time to do the things that we “want” to do – exercise regularly, write a book, start a business, finish a degree, pursue a new career, improve our game? We get up and do the same routine every day, unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

Weeks, months, and even years go by and we still haven’t started doing that thing we want to do. Perhaps the delay isn’t a hectic schedule, but more so reasons and excuses that we have told ourselves for so long that we actually believe them to be true – “I don’t have enough (fill in reason)” or “I can’t possibly do that because (fill in excuse).”

What is your reason or excuse? What belief have you held on to that has paralyzed you from pursuing your dream? What’s holding you back?

Peace in the Storm

How’s your life? Peaceful and full of joy or frustrating and full of misery? If you had to rate your life on a scale of one to five, with one being the worst and five being the best, what would you say? If the state of the economy or world catastrophic events is not a concern, perhaps you are dealing with your own personal crisis – loss of a job, a fateful health diagnosis, or loss of a loved one. How can you maintain peace in the midst of the storm? When everything appears to be turning upside down and everyone seems to be going their own way, how can you keep not just your sanity, but inner peace?

When I’m on the edge and having more “moments” than I can count, I realize that things are out of balance and I must regain my inner harmony. That’s when I turn to someone who is higher and greater than I. God is my source of peace and the one that I can always look to for strength. When my mind starts racing with every possible care, problem, and circumstance that’s going on, I need to take time, get still, and seek solace in the only one who is able to quiet my mind, revive my spirit, and restore my joy.

So, how do you maintain peace in the midst of the storm?

What If?

What have you done with those creative ideas that keep popping into your head? You know — that invention, business venture, or other desire of your heart that keeps nagging at you? Most people ignore them thinking that they will never work or will go away. But, how do you know? How do you know unless you try? Have you written it down, done some research, talked to someone about it? What if? What if it’s not only possible, but also profitable and fulfilling? What if you live your entire life and never tried? Can you live with the “if-I-could-have-would-have-should-haves?” Can you be content knowing that you could have, but didn’t? What if?

Walk the Talk

Regardless of the method used to achieve our goals, the power of faith is phenomenally, well — powerful! We can speak the right words, but if we do not believe what we say, our words are like dust in the wind.

Likewise, if we have a vision for our life, but do not put effort towards making it happen, then we must question our faith. Even the Bible says that faith without works is dead and challenges us to prove what we say we believe by showing it (James 2:17-22). In other words — walk the talk.

Faith and works go hand-in-hand. You must take action in order to fulfill your dreams. Perhaps you want a new career, to get that degree, or start your business. Nothing is impossible. What are some very practical first steps that you can do today to begin fulfilling the desires of your heart?

Name It and Claim It

Do we have the power to change our circumstances simply with our words? Can we create our desired outcome by just speaking it into existence? This practice in the Charismatic faith is jokingly known as “name it and claim it” or “blab it and grab it,” but let’s consider its truth.

I’m sure you are familiar with “The Secret,” a spiritual book that promotes the power of positivism and asserts, among other things, that we can have what believe and say. This secret has actually been around since the beginning of time. The Bible speaks of moving mountains (troubles, cares) with our words and that if we believe whatever we say will happen, it will happen (Matthew 11:22-24).

Sounds similar to the self-fulfilling prophesy concept, where an individual believes so much that something bad is going to happen that it actually happens, except it’s in reverse – we believe so much that something good is going to happen that it happens. Whether good or bad, the key question is – what actually makes it happen? Faith? Our words?

Reversing Negative Thought Patterns

Before we can change our behavior, we must first change our thoughts. How do we suddenly go from pessimism to optimism? How do we reprogram ourselves after so many years of negativity? While it doesn’t happen overnight, it is possible with practice. Let me share a few techniques that have worked for me.

The first thing, after becoming aware of and acknowledging the bad thought, is to stop the thought, and second, develop a positive response to counteract the negativity. A very simple illustration – say you went on a job interview and they selected someone else to fill the position. What are some of the thoughts that might enter your mind? “I wasn’t good enough,” “What in the world made me think I could ever get that job,” “I’ll never get a new job.” — and so on.

First, say to yourself or out loud if necessary with a very strong tone – STOP! Then come up with a positive response to your disappointment of not getting the job. “I have great skills to offer any company,” “I am going to be an excellent (fill in the desired title),” and “I will not give up.”

These two techniques can be applied to any situation and with continual practice will become a habit. With enough practice, the negative thought will not even rise in your mind and you will automatically speak positively, even claiming the outcome that you desire (more about calling those things that are not as though there were later).

Optimism vs. Pessimism

I will always be intrigued by the old classroom illustration of “is the glass half-full or half-empty” because it proves how perspective changes everything. Has a negative perspective been preventing you from accomplishing your desires?

Some see the glass half-empty and others see it as half-full. While both answers are correct, the answer that we choose is vital because it determines how we think and behave. How do you view the glass?

We have been so programmed by society to see the bad that it has become the acceptable way from which we view the world around us. Society’s emphasis more on unfavorable situations have caused us to focus on the negative so much that we do not even realize what we are doing; it’s just natural.

Consider a childhood situation that left a negative impression on you and how it shaped your view in that particular area of your life or ways that the media has contributed to your perception of society.

The lens from which we view people and circumstances determines how we behave. If we think the lady suddenly swerved in front of us without warning did so because she simply was not paying attention while talking on her cell phone we might become angry and engage in road rage. However, what if she was talking to the camp director who just informed her that her son was found at the bottom of the pool unconscious and was being rushed to the hospital, we might react differently. We would probably dismiss the event entirely or even utter a prayer.

The old saying, “as a man thinks, so is he” has merit. Remember the classic children’s story, “The Little Engine That Could,” that prevailed up the mountain by encouraging himself saying, “I think I can, I think I can.” The same holds true and applies to every situation in life.

Likewise, if we think we “can’t” then we probably will not simply because of our corresponding behavior. What are the chances of someone who does not believe that they will ever be able to become a lawyer enrolling in law school? Our actions are determined by our outlook.

We must first become aware of and admit our natural tendency towards pessimism, then realize that we have control over how we view the situation – it is a choice. Lifelong pessimistic programming causes underlying automatic commitments (UACs) or negative beliefs that we hold true.

The keys to moving from pessimism to optimism are to not only understand that we have a choice of how to view our circumstances, but more importantly, our choice will also determine our behavior and ultimately shape the outcome.