What’s Holding You Back?

With all the things we “have” to do – go to work, get the car fixed, grocery shopping, mow the lawn, wash clothes, take the kids to practice, and the list goes on – how do we find time to do the things that we “want” to do – exercise regularly, write a book, start a business, finish a degree, pursue a new career, improve our game? We get up and do the same routine every day, unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

Weeks, months, and even years go by and we still haven’t started doing that thing we want to do. Perhaps the delay isn’t a hectic schedule, but more so reasons and excuses that we have told ourselves for so long that we actually believe them to be true – “I don’t have enough (fill in reason)” or “I can’t possibly do that because (fill in excuse).”

What is your reason or excuse? What belief have you held on to that has paralyzed you from pursuing your dream? What’s holding you back?

Peace in the Storm

How’s your life? Peaceful and full of joy or frustrating and full of misery? If you had to rate your life on a scale of one to five, with one being the worst and five being the best, what would you say? If the state of the economy or world catastrophic events is not a concern, perhaps you are dealing with your own personal crisis – loss of a job, a fateful health diagnosis, or loss of a loved one. How can you maintain peace in the midst of the storm? When everything appears to be turning upside down and everyone seems to be going their own way, how can you keep not just your sanity, but inner peace?

When I’m on the edge and having more “moments” than I can count, I realize that things are out of balance and I must regain my inner harmony. That’s when I turn to someone who is higher and greater than I. God is my source of peace and the one that I can always look to for strength. When my mind starts racing with every possible care, problem, and circumstance that’s going on, I need to take time, get still, and seek solace in the only one who is able to quiet my mind, revive my spirit, and restore my joy.

So, how do you maintain peace in the midst of the storm?

What If?

What have you done with those creative ideas that keep popping into your head? You know — that invention, business venture, or other desire of your heart that keeps nagging at you? Most people ignore them thinking that they will never work or will go away. But, how do you know? How do you know unless you try? Have you written it down, done some research, talked to someone about it? What if? What if it’s not only possible, but also profitable and fulfilling? What if you live your entire life and never tried? Can you live with the “if-I-could-have-would-have-should-haves?” Can you be content knowing that you could have, but didn’t? What if?

Walk the Talk

Regardless of the method used to achieve our goals, the power of faith is phenomenally, well — powerful! We can speak the right words, but if we do not believe what we say, our words are like dust in the wind.

Likewise, if we have a vision for our life, but do not put effort towards making it happen, then we must question our faith. Even the Bible says that faith without works is dead and challenges us to prove what we say we believe by showing it (James 2:17-22). In other words — walk the talk.

Faith and works go hand-in-hand. You must take action in order to fulfill your dreams. Perhaps you want a new career, to get that degree, or start your business. Nothing is impossible. What are some very practical first steps that you can do today to begin fulfilling the desires of your heart?

Name It and Claim It

Do we have the power to change our circumstances simply with our words? Can we create our desired outcome by just speaking it into existence? This practice in the Charismatic faith is jokingly known as “name it and claim it” or “blab it and grab it,” but let’s consider its truth.

I’m sure you are familiar with “The Secret,” a spiritual book that promotes the power of positivism and asserts, among other things, that we can have what believe and say. This secret has actually been around since the beginning of time. The Bible speaks of moving mountains (troubles, cares) with our words and that if we believe whatever we say will happen, it will happen (Matthew 11:22-24).

Sounds similar to the self-fulfilling prophesy concept, where an individual believes so much that something bad is going to happen that it actually happens, except it’s in reverse – we believe so much that something good is going to happen that it happens. Whether good or bad, the key question is – what actually makes it happen? Faith? Our words?

Reversing Negative Thought Patterns

Before we can change our behavior, we must first change our thoughts. How do we suddenly go from pessimism to optimism? How do we reprogram ourselves after so many years of negativity? While it doesn’t happen overnight, it is possible with practice. Let me share a few techniques that have worked for me.

The first thing, after becoming aware of and acknowledging the bad thought, is to stop the thought, and second, develop a positive response to counteract the negativity. A very simple illustration – say you went on a job interview and they selected someone else to fill the position. What are some of the thoughts that might enter your mind? “I wasn’t good enough,” “What in the world made me think I could ever get that job,” “I’ll never get a new job.” — and so on.

First, say to yourself or out loud if necessary with a very strong tone – STOP! Then come up with a positive response to your disappointment of not getting the job. “I have great skills to offer any company,” “I am going to be an excellent (fill in the desired title),” and “I will not give up.”

These two techniques can be applied to any situation and with continual practice will become a habit. With enough practice, the negative thought will not even rise in your mind and you will automatically speak positively, even claiming the outcome that you desire (more about calling those things that are not as though there were later).

Breakthroughs

Have you ever dealt with someone who said that they do not believe in something, but something happens that causes them to question their belief? Perhaps it was through a conversation where someone challenged their belief that made them reconsider the perspective that they have held true for years. Their world is shaken for a bit, but then they suddenly accept their newfound belief as truth. There is nothing more glorious than a breakthrough. It’s when your “aha” moment morphs into a total paradigm shift and now your entire world has changed due to your new lenses. Where do you need a breakthrough? How badly do you want it? Are you willing to have your belief challenged and your world shaken?

Ups and Downs

As a Life Coach who specializes in total wellness – spirit, soul, mind, and body – I often question not only what motivates people, but moreso what keeps them motivated.  Why do we tend to experience the roller-coaster effect on the road to goal accomplishment? Perhaps it’s a natural part of the process. How can we maintain the initial enthusiasm that gets us up without ever coming down? Perhaps it’s not possible to maintain such drive without crashing. Why do we burn long and hard for a while until we practically burn-out? There must be a way to maintain a balance so that we can burn on. Is achieving a dream similar to purchasing a new car? The excitement fades once the newness wears off. Or, is it because inevitable challenges and disappointments sometimes give way to fear and doubt? Thus, causing us to slow down to almost a halt. How can we view setbacks differently and learn during the process? Instead of allowing setbacks to immobilize us, we can use them as tools of determination to press forward. Can we train ourselves to get so mad at the setback that it reignites us to obtain our desired outcome with a vengence? We can turn the negative energy that accompanies disappointment into positive by a mere act of the will. We must resist the setback and make it a comeback instead.